“I trust algorithms. I mean, who doesn’t like data driven results free of nonsensical human biases? I know I do! Online dating therefore seems like the most logical and natural course of action in my pursuit of a suitable partner.” I wrote these words on my blog at the start of my online dating journey in late 2014. Since then, my attitude towards online dating has changed quite considerably, finally culminating in me calling it quits. How come? Well, here are a few of my top reasons for why I quit online dating:
1. It’s too time consuming
Finding a decent person to date through an online platform is a numbers game that requires patience. I grossly underestimated the amount of time necessary to actively date online, and probably should have heeded my own advice when I wrote:
For all of the efficiency and conveniences that online dating brings, there is still a fair bit of required effort on your part. Take for instance the amount of time it takes to:
a) set-up your profile;
b) read through other people’s profiles;
c) respond and/or send messages; and
d) set up in-person dates with your matches.
As you can see, it’s a lot! I highly suggest that you examine your commitments and realistically evaluate whether you have the time to meaningfully date online.
To make matters worse, the longer I stayed online the more I noticed that the compatibility/match scores are pretty much BS. Very rarely did a high compatibility score translate into genuine interest or chemistry once the messaging got going. Online dating started to feel like finding a cool and worthwhile person was basically a crapshoot.
2. I Got tired of having the same conversations
What are your hobbies? Do you have siblings? What do you do for work? Trudging through the let’s-get-to-know-each-other conversations reminded me of job networking events: more often than not, a lot is said but nothing useful is gained. After a while, talking about my background and listening to other people talk about their backgrounds over and over again became more of a chore than something that I looked forward to. All the conversations started to sound like: blah blah blah blah blah… It’s exhausting...
Excerpt from post originally published on Madame Noire.